AKRON, Ohio — Diane New has been wearing a pair of heart necklaces every day for weeks. One is a small silver charm with her son Ryan’s fingerprint and the other, a gift from her older son, is a larger rose gold hoop with birthstones of both her father and Ryan attached.
“As you move and it moves against you, you feel him,” she said of the necklaces.
Ryan Tucholsky and his girlfriend Sara Tartaglio were riding his motorcycle in late April when police say a suspected drunk driver on State Route 82 in Aurora sped up and hit the couple from behind.
“They didn’t see it coming,” New said. “So what I like to envision is they were riding with their arms around each other and then they were in heaven. That’s how I’m hoping it happened.”
Tartaglio was taken to University Hospital’s Twinsburg Medical Center, where she died. Tucholsky was flown to Cleveland Clinic’s Akron General Hospital and placed on a ventilator for several days before he also died.
“He was just a very gentle soul and it just breaks my heart that he's not here to see what else he would have done with his life,” New said.
Police say the suspected drunk driver in the collision fled the scene but was caught and arrested in another crash a short time later. He is now charged in Portage County with counts of OVI, hit-skip, aggravated vehicular assault, and vehicular homicide.
“I gave him the benefit of the doubt in the beginning,” New said. “But it’s very sad and it's very frustrating because it was 100% avoidable. So I'm trying to be okay with it but I'm not, truth be told. Maybe someday I will be, but not yet.
Less than two weeks after New’s 29-year-old son died, the family narrowly avoided tragedy yet again. She received a call from her 31-year-old son Andy after he, too, was involved in a crash with a suspected impaired driver.
“Then I was angry. I was like, ‘What is happening here?’” New said. “I do believe in angels and I believe his little brother was there because the van was smashed to the point that somehow he climbed out a window and he doesn't even remember doing it.”
The elder son escaped with minor injuries. The suspected drunk driver died from injuries suffered in the head-on collision.
“To have both children hit in a week and a half, I can't even put into words what that feels like,” New said. “I need to tell the story because people need to start paying attention to drinking and driving. If two children in one family can get hit in a week and a half. We need to do more.”
In the pain of losing Tucholsky and the terror of nearly losing another son, New found profound comfort in knowing other lives were saved through organ donation.
“We came to find out that he had already put on his license that he was interested in being an organ donor,” she said. “Ryan was able to donate his heart, his liver and both kidneys to donors. He died at 4:27 in the afternoon and by 7:30 in the evening, his organs were on the way to the recipients.”
The family and hospital elected to mark Tucholsky's final moments with an Honor Walk. The tradition involves hospital workers paying tribute to an organ donor as the person is wheeled to the operating room.
“As the bed gets wheeled by and we walk by, they're standing there bowing their heads in honor of him donating the organs,” New said. “It is so overwhelming and so overpowering. It's just beautiful and it helps to make that time a little bit better. They stayed with us all the way until we got into surgery.”
An hour earlier, Tucholsky's grandmother was taking a short break at a restaurant inside the hospital when she met store manager Phil Davis. The two exchanged pleasantries until Davis learned what the family had experienced. He asked if he could participate in the Honor Walk to pay tribute to the stranger’s grandson.
“[It was] a totally quiet, totally reverent moment and it’s something that I still feel with me,” he said.
Davis was so moved by the experience and Tucholsky’s story that he attended the memorial service several weeks later. He said it gave him a new perspective on organ donation.
“It has left an indelible mark on my spirit and on my memory. I’m honored to have been part of that Honor Walk and I’m hopeful other people will find inspiration in Ryan’s story,” he said.
Lifebanc, Northeast Ohio’s nonprofit organ and tissue recovery organization, said close to 3,000 people are awaiting organ transplants in the state. It urges more Ohioans to sign up as organ donors to help fill the need.
“It’s worth that simple ‘yes,’” said Michelle Leighton, the Chief Talent Officer at Lifebanc. “During times of tragedy when one life is lost, others can be saved.”
She explained up to 8 people can benefit from a single organ donor. In Ohio, interested individuals can sign up to be an organ donor at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV). You can learn more about how to register by clicking this link.
New didn’t know her son was an organ donor until his final days, but she said his generous spirit in life made it easy to believe he would make a selfless decision to help others after his death.
“While this Mother’s Day I didn’t have my son, five other people had their relatives because of Ryan’s organs,” she said. “Truly it’s helping us get by as a family. We’re so proud of him, we’re so proud that there are people out there living because of what he’s done.”
In Tucholsky's obituary, the family suggested memorial donations be made to the sons of his girlfriend. You can find the fundraiser at this link.
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