CLEVELAND — A new survey found what moms all over the world will tell you: it’s hard work. The report is called the 2023 State of Motherhood, based on a survey conducted by Motherly. They checked in with some 10,000 moms over two weeks. Here are some of the major findings:
- 25% of moms surveyed stay at home with their children, nearly two times as many as in 2022
- 52% said the cost of childcare has made them consider leaving the workforce
- 64% would need a flexible schedule to be able to return to work
- 67% spend $1,000 or more on childcare each month
- 51% hadn’t gone out without their children in the past month
- 49% feel burned out by motherhood
It’s no wonder, then, taking all those numbers to heart, that the survey also found more moms are turning to therapy to address their mental health. Motherly found 46% of mothers surveyed were seeking therapy, up from 43% in 2022. The top reasons moms are seeking help were anxiety, depression, relationships, and postpartum issues.
We spoke with University Hospitals Clinical Psychologist Dr. Erika Kelley about the findings.
“I think for a lot of moms, there’s a lot of mom guilt. It’s almost like you can’t win. If you work, you’re a bad mom. If you don’t work, you’re a bad mom.”
Kelley also pointed out that in many homes, moms are still the default parent carrying the social, emotional, and cognitive load of parenting. That means most often, they’re the ones scheduling those medical checkups, remembering when soccer registration opens, and making sure the kids get picked up and dropped off at the right times.
Motherly’s data bears that out. Here’s what the survey found about the workload moms are carrying:
- 58% are primarily responsible for running the household and caring for children, up 2% from 2022
- 32% share responsibilities equally with a partner, down 2% from 2022
- 62% get less than an hour to themselves each day
Kelly says moms need stronger support systems. It really does take a village. She hopes the virtual sessions that became so common during the pandemic continue to be covered by insurance. They remove barriers for moms seeking mental health help since it doesn’t require them to find childcare or leave children who are nursing. And most of all, moms need our support.
“I always tell people the last thing any mom needs is probably a feeling of guilt,” she said. "So, anything that you can do to be a cheerleader, to provide support, empowerment, right? Like, ‘you’re doing a great job. I see that you’re working really hard; that’s phenomenal.'”
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