NORTH ROYALTON, Ohio — Officer Kandice Straub, the first woman on the Parma Police SWAT team, took her own life six weeks ago.
Now her mother, Karla Straub, is sharing her story to raise awareness about mental health, the stigma and how suicide shouldn't be a choice.
For Karla, some days are better; some days are worse since Kandice's death on April 16.
"My kids are like the best part of me, and I lost part of me that day," Karla said.
Karla's oldest of two took her own life at the age of 28.
That day began a journey for Karla she had never dreamed of. Karla says she got a call from Kandice's friend and colleague, who found her at her house after he received a text message.
"She sent a text to take care of her dog, and so yeah, he called us," Karla said.
Karla said there wasn't a note, and there were no red flags as far as she could tell.
Just two days before, she says Kandice talked to her about grabbing lunch and shopping.
"It could have been a little bit of everything, maybe whatever, but whatever was going on, nothing is worth taking your own life," Straub said.
There's anger in Karla's heart.
"Not every day, not all the time, but there's anger because I'll never know why," Straub said.
Karla says Kandice had achieved her dream career as a police officer. A job she knew she wanted since her sophomore year.
"She talked of the future she talked of doing. This was out of nowhere," Straub said.
She remembers when Kandice made it on the SWAT team, the first woman in Parma Police history.
"She texts this to me: 'Remember mom about how we used to joke about me making SWAT?' I said, 'Yeah.' She sent me her letter that she was accepted," Karla said.
Karla says she knows Kandice made a difference and wants to do the same and erase a stigma.
"The whole mental health issue thing, there is such a stigma— it's too powerful— it shouldn't be. It just should not be that powerful," Karla said.
She wants people to know it's OK not to be OK, and to talk with someone about it.
"I just wish she would have reached out. She knew we were there. She knew her friends were there. Don't be ashamed, don't be embarrassed, don't be too proud," Straub said.
Around Karla's house are things Kandice loved, like sunflowers, that may brighten one of the darker days.
Up on a wall, a special memento.
"Kandice's neighbor bought a star and named it sunflower for her," Karla said.
Karla is only weeks into life without her daughter. But, she says now that her journey is for Kandice and anyone she can help by speaking out.
"It's going to be a long journey for everybody, but I feel that wherever Kandice is now that she's still going to guide us and be with us through all of this," Karla said.
Down the road, Karla wants to raise awareness on a broader scale, and she's now working through those plans in Kandice's memory. She says it's time to try and make a difference.
A memorial garden is also in the works by Kandice's blue family members. Karla says they loved Kandice so much and have been so supportive.
A GoFundMe account has been set up to support the memorial garden in Kandice's honor. CLICK HERE for more information.
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or needs mental health resources, you can call 988 anytime, day or night and speak with someone. You can find more resources to help by CLICKING THIS LINK.
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