I worry about my hair, my weight, my makeup and anything else that impacts my appearance every single time I step in front of a camera. There is always a feeling that if I stray away from an unspoken guideline of perfection and professionalism, it will damage my career. Not to mention, if viewers don’t like my hair, my makeup, my weight or my outfit, they will make sure to let me know.
During the NBA Finals, all eyes were on the sports department. I found myself spending hours upon hours and even extra cash to make sure my hair was perfect for every live shot and every interview. Maintaining my hair may have been more exhausting than working the Finals. The experience shed light on how preoccupied I am with the details of my appearance, which made me ask the question, “What is really going on here?"
Summer is now in full swing. It’s hot. It is sticky. It’s a time of year when straightening my curly locks is an even greater hassle than usual because of the humidity. Nonetheless, the battle to tame my big, thick and vivacious hair continues.
I started straightening my hair in middle school after my peers started calling me 'brillo hair.' That’s when I began telling people my last name was short for brilliant NOT brillo. My mother, being the overly generous parent that she is, began taking me to the salon so a professional could get it smooth and silky. Finally, my hair looked just like everyone else’s hair.
When I entered the professional world, there seemed to be a standard cut and style for women in the news industry. In fact, recently I Googled 'female newscasters with curly hair' and it seems as though a woman wearing curly hair on air is nearly as uncommon as a person doing a sportscast in a headstand. That’s crazy!
There seems to be a subtle or maybe not-so-subtle message that looking professional means everyone looking exactly the same. So recently I decided to put away my blow dryer, my hair straightener and the 10 products used to trick the strands on my head into an unnatural state of so-called perfection. I decided to just let it be.
To my amazement, I actually kind of like it curly. The bouncy, big curls match my bubbly and outgoing personality. I wanted to wear it on air, untamed and completely natural. It is not necessarily something I want to do every day but at least when I am in the mood.
Despite my desire to go on air with my natural hair, I was still nervous about it. That’s because I think women in our culture and most certainly women on TV are scrutinized. Every bit of our appearance is picked apart. To avoid harsh criticism, it’s safer to conform to the standard look than it is to create your own image. The act of abiding by social standards of professionalism exists in the adult world but trickles right down to children, who at young ages are spending an exorbitant amount of time and even money to change their natural look.
Despite my hesitation, on July 6 I wore my hair curly. While I was a bit self conscious, constantly touching my hair and trying to calm down the frizz, when the light turned green, signaling I was on, I did my job. In the process I realized that the words I write and the stories I tell should and—I hope do—speak louder to my professionalism than the way my hair bends.
It is just hair: curly or straight.
My work reflects my ability; my hairstyle, at most, reflects my mood. Finally, I can say I am proud of my brillo hair as wearing my hair as it was given to me, big, uncontrollable and curly, helped me get across the message that I am finally not afraid to be different. Rather, I am excited to embrace being myself.
